For decades, the standard choice was the “his and hers” matching set: identical bands, often made of yellow gold. The expectation that wedding rings must match stems from this old tradition.
However, in the modern age, where men and women have wildly different jobs, lifestyles, and aesthetic preferences, this is no longer the rule.
Couples often assume the rings must match, which is not true. Many modern couples choose coordinating rings instead of identical ones. The focus has shifted from uniformity to individual comfort and personal style, while still maintaining a cohesive look through subtle shared details.
This guide explores when matching makes sense, when it’s better to be different, and the best ways to create a beautiful, coordinated set that works for both partners.
When Matching Makes Sense
While it is no longer mandatory for wedding rings to be identical, choosing matching bands can be a powerful symbol of your commitment and create a visually cohesive “set.” This choice works best when both partners have similar tastes, budget, and lifestyle needs.
Here is a breakdown of the most popular and effective ways to achieve a strong, cohesive match:
A. Same Metal Colour (The Visual Anchor)
The easiest and most traditional way to match is to ensure both rings are in the same colour family, even if the actual metals are different (e.g., tungsten and gold). The colour creates a strong, immediate visual link.
- Yellow Gold Theme: If the engagement ring is yellow gold, the men’s wedding ring should be yellow gold, or a two-tone ring that prominently features a yellow gold inlay or stripe.
- Silver/White Theme: If the engagement ring is white gold, platinum, or silver, the men’s ring should be a cool-toned metal like titanium or white tungsten.
- Rose Gold Theme: This popular, warm-toned metal creates a beautiful, soft match. If the engagement ring is rose gold, the man’s band should be rose gold or feature a rose gold element (like an inner sleeve or outer groove).
B. Shared Engraving (The Hidden Link)
This is the most intimate form of matching, as the link is private and personal. Regardless of the rings’ external appearance, identical engraving creates a secret, meaningful connection.
- Identical Text: Both rings can be engraved with the wedding date (e.g., “28.10.2025”), a significant phrase, or a special set of coordinates.
- Partner’s Fingerprint: Engraving the partner’s unique fingerprint on the inside of the band is a modern, deeply sentimental trend that makes the rings connected on a molecular level.
C. Same Finish or Texture (The Aesthetic Match)
The finish refers to the texture of the metal’s surface. Choosing a shared finish ensures the rings reflect light and feel similar, which creates coordination even if the metals are different colours.
- Brushed/Matte: If both rings have a brushed or matte finish, they will look deliberate and coordinated. This choice is great for a subtle, modern aesthetic.
- Polished/Shiny: A high-polish finish on both bands creates a classic, traditional look that reflects light similarly, making them appear to be from the same set.
- Hammered/Textured: If both bands feature a distinct texture, like a hammered pattern, it instantly links the two pieces as a unique set.
D. Same Width or Style (The Structural Match)
For a perfect match, you can select rings that share the same structural dimensions or a major design feature.
- Identical Width: If both partners have similar hand sizes, choosing the same width (e.g., both 6mm or both 4mm) makes them appear as a set.
- Shared Inlay: The most popular modern matching feature is a shared inlay. For example, both the man’s and woman’s bands could feature a thin strip of wood inlay, abalone shell, or synthetic opal. This shared material becomes the focal point that links the rings together.
When Rings Don’t Need to Match
In many cases, choosing a distinctly different ring is the more practical, comfortable, and meaningful choice. The differences in modern lifestyles often necessitate different ring materials and styles.
- Personal Taste: The most common reason for not matching is simply personal preference. The man may prefer the bold, dark look of a black tungsten ring, while his partner loves the sparkle of a traditional diamond engagement ring. Trying to force a match often results in one partner having a ring they don’t love.
- Different Jobs/Lifestyles: A man with a hands-on construction job or who lifts heavy weights at the gym needs a ring that is scratch-resistant and won’t warp or catch like a durable tungsten ring. His partner, however, may have a sedentary office job that allows for a softer, more traditional metal like gold.
- Allergies or Sensitive Skin: If one partner has sensitive skin or an allergy to gold alloys (like nickel), they may need a hypoallergenic material such as pure titanium or high-quality tungsten. This immediately makes an exact match impossible.
- Men Prefer Darker/Modern Rings: Modern grooms often gravitate towards black, blue, or grey metals, while partners usually prefer traditional white, yellow, or rose gold. The aesthetic gap here is too large to force a match.
“Coordinated” Rings (The Best Alternative)
“Coordinating” is the modern approach to wedding bands. It means the rings look like they belong together without being identical twins. This creates a cohesive look that respects both individual styles.
| Coordination Method | How It Works | Examples | Matching Detail |
|---|---|---|---|
| Matching Detail | Different styles but a shared, subtle visual detail that ties them together. | Two rings with different metals (e.g., black tungsten and white gold), but both feature a shared inner groove or a thin copper stripe. | Subtle visual element on both rings. |
| Shared Engraving | Different metals and styles, but both rings are engraved with the same date or phrase. | The most intimate and low-profile way to match. Both rings are engraved with the wedding date: “28.10.2025” or the phrase “Always.” | Identical personalized text. |
| Complementary Finish | Both rings share the same texture. | One partner wears a highly polished gold ring, and the other wears a highly polished black ceramic ring. The shine links them visually. | Identical surface texture (e.g., matte, polished, hammered). |
| Hidden Matching | The exterior is totally different, but the interior contains the same unique detail. | Both rings are engraved with the other partner’s unique fingerprint, creating a private, personal bond. | Identical feature hidden inside the band. |
You can find excellent examples of rings designed to coordinate in our men’s rings category, which features styles that subtly incorporate traditional gold and modern black elements.
Colour Matching Guide
When choosing rings that don’t match exactly, stick to complementary colour themes for a harmonious set:
- Gold with Gold: The simplest form of coordination. If the engagement ring is yellow gold, the men’s wedding ring should ideally feature a prominent element of yellow gold, even if it’s a two-tone ring (e.g., a tungsten band with a yellow gold inlay).
- Silver with Silver/Gunmetal: White gold, platinum, titanium, and silver all share a silvery-white hue. These metals coordinate perfectly with each other, as well as with gunmetal grey or light brushed titanium.
- Black with White Gold or Rose Gold: Black rings (often men’s black rings) pair well with white gold for a classic, high-contrast look. To soften the contrast, many couples match a black ring with a rose gold or copper-toned ring, as the warm metal contrasts beautifully with the black or grey.
- Two-Tone Options: If a perfect match is impossible, a two-tone men’s ring can bridge the gap. For example, a man can wear a black tungsten ring with a thin strip of yellow gold inlay to coordinate with his partner’s solid yellow gold engagement ring.
Metal Guide: Tungsten for Men, Gold/Silver for Women
The choice of metal is where the greatest divergence occurs, and it is usually driven by practicality and durability.
| Metal | Common Use | Why It Diverges |
|---|---|---|
| Gold/Platinum | Women’s engagement rings, traditional wedding bands. | Soft metal; prone to scratching and warping, high maintenance, and expensive. |
| Tungsten | Men’s Durable Rings (our specialty). | Scratch-resistant and virtually indestructible, perfect for men who use their hands. Cannot be resized. |
| Titanium | Lightweight, hypoallergenic men’s rings. | Ideal for men with severe metal allergies or those who hate the feel of jewellery. |
Why Tungsten is Popular for Grooms
Tungsten is by far the most popular choice for modern grooms due to its unrivalled durability and long-term aesthetic comfort.
- Strength & Durability: Tungsten is four times harder than titanium and 10 times harder than 18k gold. This makes it an ideal choice for active or working men, as the ring will maintain its finish and never warp.
- Affordability: Tungsten offers a premium, expensive look (available in gold and silver tones) without the high cost of traditional gold.
- Practicality: While gold and silver can scratch easily, requiring regular re-polishing, tungsten is virtually maintenance-free.
To understand the long-term benefit of this choice, read our comparison: Tungsten vs Gold: Why modern men choose tungsten.
Ideas for Couples Wanting Matching Rings
If you and your partner want to commit to a matching aesthetic, here are creative ideas that go beyond simple colour matching:
- Matching Engraving: As mentioned, this is the most popular and intimate option. Both rings can be engraved with a wedding date, a favourite quote, or a name. See options in our engraving / personalised rings section.
- Matching Gemstone/Opal/Abalone Inlay: A visually striking way to match. The man’s ring might feature an abalone shell inlay strip, and the woman’s ring might have a similar inlay detail or a complementary abalone pendant. This also works well with synthetic opal inlays.
- Same Width or Inner Colour: If both partners have similar hand sizes, choosing the same width (e.g., 6mm) makes them appear as a set. Alternatively, if one has a white gold ring and the other a black ring, giving both a rose gold inner plating provides a hidden, complementary link.
- “Hidden Matching”: Inside Engraving: Another unique option is to engrave the partner’s unique fingerprint on the inside of the band. This creates a one-of-a-kind, deeply sentimental match that is completely private.
When Rings Should Be Different
For the sake of comfort, safety, and long-term wear, sometimes it is best and most loving to choose different, practical rings.
- Men with Hands-On Jobs: A mechanic, electrician, or builder must prioritise durability and safety. A soft gold ring can easily be damaged or bent, whereas a robust tungsten ring is built for the job.
- Heavy Gym Users: Gold can be easily scratched by weightlifting, and a ring of any metal can pose a safety risk. For gym users, a durable titanium or a flexible silicone ring for the gym is often essential, making the primary wedding band a totally different material.
- Sensitive Skin: If either partner suffers from skin irritation, they should choose hypoallergenic materials like surgical-grade titanium or nickel-free tungsten, which may require deviation from the partner’s traditional gold band.
- Need Something Scratch-Proof: The cost of having a soft gold or silver ring polished yearly adds up. Choosing a scratch-resistant men’s ring like tungsten saves money and ensures the ring always looks new, but it means the bands won’t be made of the same metal.
Conclusion
Do men’s wedding rings need to match the engagement ring? Absolutely not.
While the tradition of identical “his and hers” sets persists, the modern rule is that both rings should suit the individual who wears them, and they should coordinate subtly rather than match perfectly. Whether you choose the same metal, a shared engraving, or just complementary finishes, the ultimate goal is two bands that both partners love and are proud to wear every day.
Browse our extensive collection of men’s rings category to see matching styles or choose a ring that perfectly suits your specific needs and lifestyle; both are correct choices.
Frequently Asked Questions
Yes, it is perfectly fine and often the most practical choice. Gold and platinum are soft metals prone to scratching, while durable metals like tungsten are scratch-resistant and perfect for men with active lifestyles or hands-on jobs. They can still coordinate by choosing the same colour tone (e.g., both rings are yellow gold-toned) or by adding a matching engraving.
Hidden matching is a way to create a sentimental link that isn’t visible on the outside of the ring. The most popular forms of hidden matching are matching inner engravings (the same date or phrase) or engraving the partner’s unique fingerprint on the inside of the band.
No. While some men choose a small accent diamond for their band, it is not necessary. The modern trend is to use unique inlays (like opal, wood, or shell) in the men’s ring to create a focal point that complements the sparkle of the diamond engagement ring, linking them by style rather than identical materials.
The best way to coordinate is to choose a black men’s ring (often tungsten) that features a two-tone inlay of the same gold colour as the engagement ring (e.g., a black ring with a rose gold stripe). This ties the colours together beautifully and respects both individual tastes.
Comfortable fit is always more important. Since the wedding band is worn daily for a lifetime, choosing a ring that suits the wearer’s comfort needs, lifestyle, and size is paramount. If matching compromises the fit or durability (e.g., forcing a man with an active job to wear a soft gold ring), it is better to choose a coordinated, practical band instead.
About the Author
This article was written by the team at Newman Bands, specialists in men’s rings with over a decade of experience supplying durable, stylish, and meaningful men’s rings.
With insights drawn from thousands of customer reviews, wear tests, and material comparisons, our goal is to help you choose a ring that fits your life and lasts. We’re proud to offer expert-backed advice and high-quality rings, backed by over 10,000 five-star reviews from customers across the UK. Every piece is designed for real-life wear, whether you’re at work, the gym, or walking down the aisle.